Filial Piety - No More?

The Newpaper (yesterday) featured a story of an old woman who got battered by her son and yet, she insisted that he should not be blamed as he's a good son. The son was imprisoned because he beat her up not once but several times and in the latest incident, he hit her with a stool until one of its leg broke. She's in denial, the expert said and this is a common trait of someone who has been abused. A parenting expert suggested that this could be the result of bad parenting. The abused mother blamed herself, saying that she used to beat him when he was small.

I feel sad for that old lady. This is definitely not what any parent would want to wish for. When one is old and no longer as strong as before, all one would wish for is just the company and care of the children - nothing more. Now, in modern times, when human minds are said to have moved forward in terms of being enterprising and innovative, the human hearts seemed to lack the compassion for the old and aged. Every now and then, you could read stories about old folks being cheated, conned by their own children. Some old, aged, incomeless parents have even resorted to going to court just to get some financial support from their well-to-do children. Adult children, with mind of their own, no longer listen to their parents - they only listen to the law.

It is said that a mother can look after 10 children, but 10 children cannot look after 1 mother. A sad fact that all parents (not just mothers) have to swallow. We have heard of many stories of aged parents being sent to old folks homes, just because they were a "nuisance" to their own children. We have heard of stories of aged parents being abandoned because their children did not have enough money (so they claimed) to feed their parents. We have heard of stories where old parents complained that their children and grandchildren no longer visit them as often or even give them some pocket money. What happened to filial piety? A value that was once treasured by us, Asians?

I am quite sure that no parent want to burden their children. If they could earn money and support themselves, these aged parents have no problem doing so. All they yearn is just love, companionship, family closeness. I feel sad for these old parents, the sense of loneliness must be overwhelming. I have been to old folks homes a couple of times and it just make me depressed. Some people may quipped that maybe they did something in their younger days, and this is their retribution on earth. I would rather not assume that. No one knows. Maybe they were good parents during their times. Bad parents or not, I still feel that the least, the grown-up children could do is treat their parents well. Without our parents, none of us would be hear today. So it does not matter whether our parents were discriminating in their love, emotionally abuse us with words that pierced our hearts, we should still treat them kindly and well.

What goes around, come around - like a domino effect. How we treat our parents now, may result in how our children treat us in the future. My parents used to tell me this story, and I have told this story to my children. You may have heard of this story. It is a wonderful story to share. Here goes :

Long ago in China, lived a poor family. The young mother just gave birth to another child. She lived with her husband and her father-in-law, who was too old and need constant care. Her father-in-law ate very little but the young mother feared that with another mouth to feed, her children may starve due to lack of food.

So one night, she told her husband about her worries. Her husband agreed that since his father was already old and useless, they would abandon him in the mountain so they would have enough food for the children. Since his father was too old to walk up the mountain, he decided to make a basket to carry his father.

While he was working on the basket, his young son watched him. Curious, the boy asked,"Father, why are you making a basket for grandfather?" The young father replied,"The basket is to carry your grandfather up the mountain." The boy asked,"Are you going to leave him there?" The father replied,"Yes". "Why?" asked the boy. "Because he is already very old. So it is best that he go."

The boy then said," Please don't throw the basket away. When you grow old, I'll need the basket to carry you and leave you up the mountains." Hearing that, the young father realised his mistake and decided not to abandon his own father.

Hope you enjoyed the story and have a great remaining week! 8)