Mood for Reflection

My last entry was one of those days when I just feel like writing nonsense. On a serious note, as year end approaches (be in the Gregorian calendar or the Hijrah), it is only natural for me to ask myself what have I achieved so far, in terms of physical, spiritual or material.

Looking back, 2005 has been a good year for us, our family. I started the year in slight trepidation, unsure of what it would be like to work again after being 5 months away. Alhamdullilah, we managed to held on to our professionalism and did not let any personal matters get in the way. There were many moments of awkwardness in the office arena, between some of us colleagues but we did not dwell on the past and decided to move forward. Now, more than 12 months after that "unforgettable" incident, it is amazing we can still work well together. It really shows how matured we all are.

In terms of other areas, I feel truly blessed by what Allah swt has given us. There are times that I feel so ashamed for the many times that I forget to say Alhamdullilah, the many times that my prayers were not as "khusyuk" as they should be, the many times that my niat may have gone awry. HE has given us so much, Alhamdullilah....Rezeki in its many forms. It is only apt that if I were to set any resolution, it would be just to become a better Muslimah.

But I won't call it a new year resolution because I don't need a new year to become one. It means starting now as in 28 Dec 2005, 5.00pm sharp. So to become a better Muslimah, I have made a list of things that I should do - as a constant reminder to me everytime I see my blog. I hope in days and even years to come, I have this as a benchmark for me to further improve.

(1) Be more khusyuk during prayers
(2) Not to delay solat till the last minute
(3) Perform jemaah prayers with family more often
(4) Improve on the reading of Quran
(5) Understand the meaning of the Quran - at least devout 1 day per week on this. Preferably together with family
(6) Do self reflection at the end of every prayer (make sure time permits)
(7) Make sure niat is right for every action

This list is not exhausted. There are still many things that I could do but this will do for the time being. I am not good at remembering quotes but wasn't it Confucious that said "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." ? Now, I have to start making that first step.