Differences

Da just lost her father 2 nights ago. He passed away in his sleep. I have never known Da on a personal basis. Although we see each other every day, ours is just a working relationship, nothing more than that. I hardly know how she's really like as a person. Nonetheless, when I received news of her father's demise, I was sad. I understood how it felt to lose a father, mine passed away less than 1 1/2 years ago.

I went to the wake this afternoon. I was quite surprised how quiet it was. I never knew there were only 2 of them left. Now it is just her and her sister - both in their 40s, still single. Their mother passed away several years back and it appeared that they have not many relatives. Da was pale and even though, I could not see any sense of sadness or loss, I am sure these feelings were well concealed. I am sure that with the Chinese New Year coming, the sense of loss will be more significant- just like when I went through my 1st Ramadhan without Abah.

Da and I have no other common interest, except for work. We worked well initially for a couple of years and then our differences got the better of us. The differences were so glaring to ignore such that whatever relationship that we had, became almost irreconcilable. Nonetheless, it would be presumptuous if I were to just put total blame on her for being so uncompromising. Because maybe I also played a part.

We were constantly battling our silent "cold wars". We only talked when it was necessary. We only met during meetings and it would never be pleasant, neither for us nor others who attended. Looking back, it really was ridiculous! Two career women acting like spoilt brats - both of us wanted to be right. Both of us refused to come up with a compromise.

When I returned to work last February, I thought "let bygones be bygones". Why can't we just put our differences aside so we can work better together. But Da just didn't want to budge, she was fixed on her views - no compromise. I was left with no choice but just to ignore her. Over the past 6 months though, I noticed the subtle change in Da. It was beginning to feel like the old days once again. It started with a smile and then it proceeded to hello-s and hi -s. We still don't do small talks. But I believe there is still some hope.

When I heard of her father's death, I thought it is about time that we put our differences aside. After all, she just lost someone so close to her. It would be cruel if I were to take revenge when she is at her most vulnerable. I remembered at the peak of our disagreement, my father passed away. I was bitter that she neither visited me not said her condolences. She was cold even after I returned to work. Revenge would be so tempting at this point in time, wouldn't it?

But why should I stoop so low? We should just move on. I hope our old wounds would heal. It will definitely take time but there will also be a way for us to understand each other's views better. So I made my way to the wake. I could see that she was quite surprised by my presence. I just wanted to show that I, too, have feelings. I too feel sad for her although we come from totally different race and religion.

I saw for the first time how Da really is, out of her career suit. She seemed so lonely. Just her sister and her. No father, no mother. I didn't even see any friends. The only act of kindness I knew was to show that I did care. And to do that I have to put our differences aside - once and for all.