Thursday, April 13, 2006

The Things About Women

“What is it with you, women?” We hear this most of the time; from our husbands, boyfriends, bosses and even co-workers. What is it about us, women that these men can never understand? Are we too mysterious, too complicated or may be are we just too smart for them to handle? Maybe.

But the thing they don’t really know about women is that we, women also don’t understand our own kind. How many of us have worked with a female boss who is a tyrant, who does not understand what other women want? How many times have we heard our female colleagues complaining about their female bosses? And how many times have we heard wives saying that they trust their husbands but they do not trust THAT OTHER WOMAN?

I know that women are very critical of one another. Some men may refer to this act as “bitching”. I am not sure the reason for us to act as such. Is it because we always treat our own kind as our competitors? Or is it because we have such high expectations of other women that we get disappointed in them too easily?

I was once in a lift with around 5 women. One of the ladies was working in the customer service department, she was dressed rather well and had very little make-up but she did look presentable to me. Where I work, those working in the customer service department were handpicked – let’s just say they are supposed to be better groomed than those from other departments. Well, in that lift with me was another lady, not from the customer service department but was heavily made up, very attractive and better groomed than the other. She was glaring as the customer service officer, with a look that could kill.

When the customer service lady stepped out of the lift, this other lady made a nasty remark to her friend, she sneered “Look at her. How can they choose her to work at the customer service department? Dunno how to put on make-up properly.” You have to look at her whole facial expression to get the full effect of what she was saying. I thought it was quite mean. But then again, maybe I could have “unconsciously” done such mean things before to other women. And I had just conveniently forgotten about them. Which we, women usually do anyway.

We are quick to erase our own misdoings but we will always remember the wrong things that others have done to us. We will say that we forgive but we will never forget. And when the time is right (sometimes, it may not even be right), we will bring that unforgotten but forgiven issue up. I guess that’s why men say they can never win arguments with women.

And is it true that we, women don’t really say what we mean? Is it true that we, women cannot handle the truth such that we would rather have our partners tell us white lies about how beautiful and slim we look so that we are not hurt by their frank feedback or remarks? Could all these “things” said about women be true?

I cannot answer for every woman. But honestly, there are some of the things I mentioned here that hold true for me. Now, woman, how about you?


Em said...


Bits of your post is quite true...Me agree...

Maria Palma said...

Yes, this is something I've always wondered about us women. I've linked to your post at my Beauty is Within blog. Thanks!

the woman said...

Agree with you BQ. It's just that we women, our nafsu is fantastically so very the high that we are "like that". It's something that we lack that makes us "like that". Lack of what one might ask.. but BQ, I think you already know the answer. Don't you?

Ps: Insya Allah, we shall seek protection from our bad nafsu.

BQ said...

Hi Maria, Thanks for dropping by! 8)

Em & the woman - 8)

lizanoor said...

WOMEN ..... where the MEN just dont get IT. @ times, WOMEN themselves dont get IT.

*tersengih ala pondan*

ni lah akibat bad-mixing with ayong. tsk tsk tsk ....

BQ said...

lizanoor - tsk tsk tsk, what can I say? And what will your hubby say when he see you "tersengih ala pondan"? Parah kan. LOL!

the woman said...

Knock knock...

Any updates? :P

madamde said...

knock..knock a'salam lama tak keypo2 kat your BLOG.

after read this must do some soul searching kan

neway how are babe??

BQ said...

The woman - tks for knocking! LOL.

Madame - Nice hearing from you. Lama tak dengar cerita. I am good, alhmadullilah. 8)

Al Sayf said...

...and just when we men think we've survived the worst, the women get pregnant and opens the gates of hell. But seriously, it's hard to say lah. It's too general to point out that a gender is like this or that.

I remember giving my wife my honest opinion about something she cooked. She asked how it was and I said it tastes bad because uh... it did. And she started crying. Of course, she was pregnant at the time. That said, it's not even surprising.

I guess some women can handle honesty but with bucketloads of diplomacy. Otherwise it might get ugly. And we men better be prepared.

PS: Thanks for not being one-sided as some usually are.

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.