Building Character

As a mother, one of the most important things that I want to build in my children is character. To me, a person’s character is a fortress against the harsh tides of life. A person’s character will determine how he weathers the storms that he faces in his life and how scathe he will be when he gets out of them.

Unfortunately, I don’t seem to see much of this character building in our society. People tend to focus on personality, a quick fix rather than work on building character that has a lasting and more concrete effect. For example, I see many people who dress well and speak well but lack qualities such as integrity and responsibility. I notice that many are more concerned about how they appear to others and how to manage other people’s perception, rather than to work on themselves to develop good social qualities.

I have always believed that who we are in the inside will show on the outside. Good character is what I want my children to have – in the inside. Without it, no matter how much we want to hide or even deceive others into believing that we are as good as we look, our true colours will eventually show. People will know who we actually are– even if it takes years for them to discover.

I have met people with good qualifications, who hold top posts but lack good character. They are appointed as leaders but have no leadership quality. They don’t care about others – they just care about themselves. I am sure every one of us has encountered with such people. It is becoming rather common in our society where one is judged more on paper qualifications rather than his personal qualities. It is a sad fact.

Getting knowledge is important but not at the expense of values such as humility and generosity. Children should not only be taught to be hungry for knowledge but also on the need to share the knowledge that they have. They should be taught that hoarding knowledge or money do not make them wiser or richer in any way. They should be taught that Allah’s knowledge and wealth is more than enough to go around. They should be taught that Allah can give any knowledge and wealth to anyone and that there is no such thing as secret recipes or formulas for success.

These values are not taught in schools. So it is up to us, parents to instil these qualities in our children. It is not easy. But, neither it is impossible. As parents, we are our children’s role model. They learn from our actions. I guess that is the difficult part of parenting – we need to be consciously aware of our behaviour. We need to discipline ourselves first before we can get our children to discipline. We have to make sure that we build our character first before we pass them on to our children.