The waters was so calm and clear. The leaves of trees ruffled softly as the wind blew gently. Small ripples moved in rhythem across the water. I could hear birds chirping. I let out a heavy sigh. If only I was as peaceful as what surrounded me. If only, I could run away from all the troubles of the world. If only......

The two of us just sat at the edge of the embankment of the Seletar Reservoir. I did not want it to end this way. But I believed that it was the end of the road for us. The relationship was not going anywhere. I was not getting younger and the stress of having a dangerous liason was too much for me to handle. My heart pined to be with him...but my mind said nay. I did not wish to be labelled as a husband snatcher, a desperado...Aren't there many single man out there? Why must I fall in love with a married man? Why? Oh Allah, why is the flesh so weak? Why do I fall prey to temptations?

I did not wish to hurt Husna anymore. She was a fine lady, a lady of virtue. I feel pale in comparison to her. I was brought up to believe that a man's love was to one woman only, one woman alone and no other. There was no other way to it. A man with more than one wife was like an aching sore in society's eyes. Polygamy was a social stigma, even in the eyes of fellow muslims.

"Will you marry me, Nur?" his deep, soothing voice broke the silence. "I am asking you again." I remained silent. My eyes fixed to the ripples of the waters as they followed the wind. How I wish it was not this way? How I wish he was not married and it would be so easy? My heart cried "YES!"....but I am a only woman.

"Can I take your silence as acceptance?" he said. Ah...man! I thought. So easy for you to say! A voice within me screamed. How about Husna? Doesn't her opinion matters? What if I were Husna, how would I feel? My soul was crying. My heart was tearing apart. Oh Allah, give me strength. Show me the righteous way....I whispered a prayer.

I felt his gaze fell on me. I could not return it. I could not look at him because I knew the sight of his boyish face and gentle smile would make my heart melt. This was a decision I had to make. A decision that would either make me or break me......*to be continued*