Ever since I reached my big 3-O, three years ago, I realised that there are more to life than meets the eye. It is almost suddenly that I am no longer interested in the frivilious world. In my 20s, there was a certain sense of insecurity...I was not sure of what I really want to do. I did not have a sense of direction, I was driving my life in circles. There were lots of trial and error, lots of heart breaks, lots of crisis. It was during that period of turmoil that I tried out many things, to find myself. What are my strengths? What are weaknesses?

I discovered new strengths, rekindled old ones and stumbled upon glaring weaknesses. But these discoveries brought new meaning to my life. At 30, I basically knew what I really wanted in life. I knew my purpose in life. I felt a surge of confidence. I know who I am and what are my principles. Something that I think if I lose, I will no longer be me.

I remembered when I was in my 20s, early in my career, I was afraid to say what I really mean, especially to those who were in a higher career position than me. I was afraid to look and sound stupid. I was obsessed with giving the right impression. The right impression, most of the time, means keeping quiet. Keeping quiet even though my gut feeling told me to voice out against something that could possibly be wrong. I was a typical YES man. How foolish can I be?

How things change 10 years down the road! I laughed when I recalled all the "crazy", "Kamekazee" stuffs that I did after I reached 30. I have learnt that at times, silence is not at all golden. People do not have ESP. They cannot read our mind, neither can they imagine what it is really like to think like us. I have learnt that sometimes, I have to do the "dirty" job to make people see some "light" in what they are doing, even if it means telling the boss.

I have known to speak my mind, strongly and passionately. I am not willing to let go of my principles just because I was told to do so. I also know that some people don't like me. I have nothing against that. In this world, you cannot expect everyone to like you. I know of people who have to compromise on their principles so that others like them. It is a pity because true friends will accept you as who you are without asking you to compromise your principles.

I sound very EGOcentric, don't you think? Talking about myself. How good I am? I am cynically laughing at myself, right now. Some screw loose, maybe. Afterall, this is my blog. I write whatever I wish for. Readers, read at your own discretion. I don't really advocate politically correct blogs, though I must admit that sometimes I do write only politically correct entries so as not to step on people's toes. But politically correct entries actually sucks the creativity out of me! There, I am being honest.

Anyway, today is Monday. What the heck!