Full-Time Mom

When I am asked to introduce myself, I always say that I am a mother. Many a times, others would ask whether I am a full-time working mom. Obviously, the answer is yes. But, I always make it a point to say that even though I work 12 hours outside home, away from my family and children, I am still a full-time mom. My real job starts at 6.30pm when I reach home.

I know of many mothers, sometimes even myself, who often forget that our real job is to raise our family. Our main responsibility lies in developing and nurturing our children. The future of the next generation is in our hands. That is how powerful and influential we, mothers are. And yet, many of us forget the real meaning of becoming a mother.

I am not advocating that all mothers should stop work and look after our children although many mothers would view this as the ideal situation. In reality, we have to accept that each one of us is given different set of life challenges, unique to us. And like it or not, some of us just have to work. It is the better of whatever choices that we may have.

For whatever reasons that we may have to work, there are times that we get drawn into the abyss of the working world such that we forget that there is more to life than work. We forget that our children need us to raise them. I know of mothers who leave their children in the hands of helpers, who in the end become surrogate mothers to their children. I have heard of mothers who think that once they gave birth to a child, their job is over. I have heard of children who would cry endlessly when their helpers return to their home countries but had never shed a tear when the mothers went to work.

I wonder how these mothers actually feel. Don’t they feel hurt that their children don’t miss them? Don’t they feel left out when their helpers know more about their children than them? Don’t they feel that now they are actually dispensable and their children don’t need them to be around? Maybe these mothers actually feel hurt and left out but they also feel that work comes first – for the time being.

I am not in a position to judge these mothers but from a personal point of view, I just don’t understand the logic of work taking precedent over family, when work is replaceable but family is ours forever and as Muslims, we are even answerable how well our offspring turn out.

One thing for sure, I know that I am clear about my priorities. My family will always come first. I believe with such clarity in mind one would know what needs to be done in the office. I think that I have become a more efficient “machine” at work. There is less time wasting activities. Work gets done right the first time and at times, way ahead of schedule. I do get asked once a while why I don’t stay back to work. I mean why should I? I have done my whole day’s work on time. Besides, I have a real job waiting for me at home. Lest anyone forgets, I am a full-time mom and that is my real job.