Don't take Religion out of the Equation

Recently, our Malay-Muslim community led a campaign to address the community’s problem on pre-marital sex among our teenagers. It was called “Lebih Seksi Katakan Tidak” (More Sexy to Say No). For those who may not be aware, the campaign, which I believe was initiated by a Malay-Muslim organisation, just ended. Apparently, as highlighted by the Malay Media, the campaign received positive feedback from teenagers, which is good.

However, you may have read comments made by some Ustaz on this issue indicating that the campaign is only touching the symptoms but not the root cause of the problem. I couldn’t help but to agree with them. If you have watched the Berita on Suria and heard the responses given by these teenagers, it is troubling to see that the message that these teenagers get is that pre-marital sex is dangerous. Period. That’s all. They went on to say that you can get unwanted pregnancies, you can get STDs. I did not hear any of the interviewed teenagers (albeit being Muslims) mentioned that it is a big sin. None. Ziltch. Pre-marital sex or zina is a very big sin if you are a Muslim but no one even say anything of it. Isn’t this a basic knowledge in Islam?

I mean we teach our children, from young that eating pork is haram, just like drinking alcohol and gambling. These are the fundamental no-nos in Islam and yet when it comes to zina, why do we keep mum? I am sure some of us remember the big issue some Muslims have about dogs being in a taxi until it was even brought up in ST Forum. The nose and saliva of dogs is najis. And najis can be cleaned – yet, there was a fuss. But zina is bigger than najis, yet the approach to making that known lacks lustre.

Last Saturday morning, I heard an interview on Warna about this campaign and the best approach that parents should take on how to talk about sex to their children. Then, a radio DJ made a comment that I think should not be even mentioned on public radio. He said that the old approach of telling our children that pre-marital sex is “dosa besar” (big sin) could not be used anymore. He went on to say that it is obsolete to say such thing. And why not? I asked. Aren’t we Muslims, in the first place? How can something that is forbidden by Allah be obsolete?

Maybe, he meant to say that parents should no longer just say it is a big sin to zina but should also elaborate on why it is haram, and he did not get to say it on air because of time constraint. Maybe. I would have accepted that. Just like how we explain to our children why eating pork, drinking alcohol and gambling are haram because they cause more harm than good and many other scientific or non-scientific evidence to support these rules. It is our responsibility as Muslim parents to educate and guide our children. And wouldn’t it be considered a “dosa besar” if we, parents keep quiet and do not explain why zina is a big sin to our teenage children?

I hope, by writing this, I am not seen as trying to picture myself as holier than others - because I am not. I am just a concerned mother of 4 children (plus another one on the way, insya’allah). And I am concerned about what our future generation will be. I think if you are a parent, you should be.

I have the impression that the campaign was designed to take religion out of the equation. And I hope, I am not right and it is just an oversight by the organiser. It is, after all, done with good intent. And I am sure, this campaign is the beginning of many more to come as our community addresses this pertinent problem.

Islam is a way of life. We all know that. And being a way of life, we can never take Islam out of any of our campaigns, especially if it is focussed to cater to our Malay-Muslim community. To me, the root of the decay of morals among our Muslim teenagers, is the lack of basic Islamic knowledge. This is further aggravated by other factors such as lack of parental guidance, lack of knowledge on the part of parents and peer pressure. But parents have to bear the brunt of the responsibility if ever their teenagers get strayed. Because if we remember correctly our Prophet Muhammad saw once said that our children are born pure, like a white cloth, it is up to us to paint the colours on them and turn them into good Muslims. So parents, remember our responsibility and lets do our part.

PS : I cannot remember the actual hadiths. If you have reference to this famous hadiths, please share. Thanks.