Have you ever felt anxious or doubtful when you are about receive something, that you really wanted for a long time, when you least expect it? You understand what I mean? Maybe I explain a little further.

I have been wanting something very much...I have been dreaming about it. I keep on wondering if only I have it...I can do A, B and C...blah blah blah. However, I have also thought that the chance of me getting it, is pretty slim or sometime in the distance future...so I have sort of surrendered to fate...thinking that I might as well make do without it.

Then suddenly without a hint whatsoever, there is a very very high chance of me getting it soon. Funny though, I am scared, anxious of what is to come. Although, I have been wanting it for quiet some time, it didn't occur to me that I can have it so soon....and NO! I am not having another baby...That is not all I do, you know! *stick out tongue*

Well, I am having mixed feelings to think of the outcome. Having it is a difficult decision. A lot of changes may happen. I thought I could do it but I am having second thoughts now. I am sad, happy, excited, anxious, frightened. I still have a few more days to really think it through and seek Allah guidance. I hope for the best.

I'll keep you informed about IT later....shhhhhhh...and don't tell anyone about it. OK?