Children vis-à-vis Money

Ever since it was highlighted that Singaporeans will eventually become extinct unless we reproduce ourselves, babies have become THE hot topic of this nation. And when everyone else (except for some of my friends), is still not keen on reproducing, here I am - expecting my fifth child.

I have had people giving me stares that seemed to say, “This woman must be CRAZY!” – Well, perhaps it is just the imagination of a pregnant woman, whose hormones are raging. But, seriously, I do get such stares.

There are others who gawk at me with admiration – as if, I am so brave to even have another child since I already have 4, in expensive Singapore. (I am sure if I am living in another country, I would not be receiving such reactions). They would ask me endless questions of how I manage with all these children and how I find the moolah to finance them. To them, it is considered irresponsible to bring a child into the world without proper financial planning.

And it is usually at this point that I get irritated. I even feel a little offended. I am a thirty-something mother of 4 and their questions make me feel like I do nothing but make babies. As a Muslim, I have a different set of values – different from most of those who ask these questions. It is difficult to make them understand why I see things differently.

It is not that I don’t give a shit about money. Money has become a necessity in Singapore because it is very expensive to live here. But, I don’t allow money to rule over the decisions that I make in my life.

There are some people who think that having children is a financial burden. They see children as the source of financial stress. With all the stress in mind, they decide against having children. I wonder whether they have ever thought that IF their parents were to think like them, they wouldn’t have been born.

I don’t see having children as a financial burden. They are neither my burden nor my stressor. In fact, they lighten my loads for me. And having them does not cause me to lose money. My money does not get lesser. In fact, Allah gave me more with every addition, Alhamdullilah. They are not liabilities (as some Singaporeans put it in their comments to the local newspapers). They do not drain my assets away. And they do not make me less rich.

In fact, I believe and strongly believe – that Allah has made me richer by giving me more children. I am richer with love, I am richer with knowledge and I am richer with experience. No decent or indecent amount of money can make me feel this rich.

I don’t believe in straining myself thinking over the future of my family and my children because I have faith that Allah is the only one that can take care and protect us, and not the amount of money I have in bank. Call me the idealistic individual (so, definitely not pragmatic) but I don’t see how having children has anything to do with money. To me, it is just about faith.