When we talk about sharing, I am sure most of us will think of the positive aspect of sharing like sharing our wealth with the less fortunate, sharing our time with our loved ones, sharing of knowledge with others. But what about sharing of good news like when one gets a new car, a bigger house, a branded anniversary gift or even when one’s child get top in class? Is such news really worth sharing?
Sometimes, we like to share so many good things about our lives that we forget that there may be others, who are not as fortunate. When we announce to our circle of friends or in the web world, our intent is usually to share our happiness. But at times, it is seen by others as bragging. Sometimes, unintentionally, our good news becomes the source of a person’s unhappiness.
Let’s say, it was our 10th marriage anniversary and the spouse bought a huge diamond ring and a handbag to go with it, both costs thousands of dollars and in my state of ecstasy, I raved about the gifts and the expensive dinner for two at a 5-star restaurant. I was still in cloud nine when I kept my friends updated via my blog or whatever communication channel that was available.
And what if, among my friends/readers, there is one who is not really experiencing a good marriage and is currently feeling disillusioned about her relationship with her spouse – how would she feel? Wouldn’t it be like adding salt to the wound?
In sharing good news about how wonderful my spouse is, I may, unintentionally, cause other wives to compare and question – why isn’t my husband doing all these wonderful things to me? Unknowingly, my good news may even cause a strain in a marriage.
When many people start announcing the good things that their spouses do for them or the good things that they have in life, these good news become a benchmark, an expectation of some sort. And what happens when someone (within a group that has endless good news to share) does not have her fair share of good news? How would she feel? Wouldn’t she feel like she is such a failure? Would she feel that her life has more disappointments? Wouldn’t she feel like the odd one out?
There are times when good news is really not worth sharing. More often than not, it breeds contempt and envy to those who did not get to experience it first hand. We need to be tactful and be sensitive to those around us. There could be others who consider themselves unfortunate because they did not get what we got.
And when we are drunk with happiness and elatedness, there would be others who are almost drown with sadness and disappointments. Do spare some thoughts for them and hold on to the good news. Sometimes, the good news is not worth sharing.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
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9 comments:
Steve Irwin maybe one tragic news this week. But your news, is most of the time 'good' news.
Errr - Su, my blurness is at its peak at the moment, I tak faham ler.
LAH! *<]:0)
Nak kena elaborate eh.....
Steve Irwin...Crocodile Hunter; Croc Files....Died, stabbed by stingray...its very sad news. :~ยบ(
Cos his one good conservationist...if you're a fan of wildlife.
Don't you think this kind of news is worth sharing? ;)
But I like all the news/entry you sharing with us....enlighting.
[quote] ... Do spare some thoughts for them and hold on to the good news. Sometimes, the good news is not worth sharing... [unquote]
ameen to that! i second the notion. as always, very well said darling. =)
I guess it's just the same as being mindful when we speak.
True enough, it's the intention that comes with it.
ps: You know, sometimes I just feel that I don't have to write anything on my blog, might as well put up a link to yours every time you blog. Haha.. it's as if you read my thoughts and wrote it on my behalf. Tsk.
Salams!
Actually...there's many ways of looking at it...I think the intention of the news giver is at the peak of this topic but they must also be mindful as to not create fitnah from it.
We cannot control other human beings, but we can try to control ourselves. Allah makes humans to be the jealous kind but if we can get over that jealousy...may Allah reward us! Because once you can be happy for another bother or sister in Islam, you are one step closer to Him.
You should only want for your brothers and sisters in Islam what you want for yourself. :o)
The responsibility is on both parties...the writer and the reader. If the reader reads it and becomes jealous, they should ask Allah to NOT make them jealous and if the intention of the write was to make the reader jealous, then...that's ONE bad sin!
eekz!
So bloggers and readers...be aware...intention is the key!
I agree with Suraya on the intention or niat part. If I may add, when doing anything like speaking or writing, try to use your discretion and then decide whether to proceed or not. If by sharing good news it becomes a motivator for somebody else, then it's good but if it sows contempt or hatred, then celebrate the good news yourself or within a rectricted circle.
Your truly - Thank you! 8)
The Woman - Great Minds Think Alike! LOL! Maybe, we're lost twins. heh
Mona, Suraya & yara - Yes, intention is the key. I agree. But as Suraya has mentioned - we have to be mindful so as not to create fitnah.
Maybe I should emphasise this - Quite often, I observed a large number of people who are so keen to tell others about their material achievements eg new house, new car - although the niat is to just share the happiness, they forget that amongst them maybe someone who really couldn't afford it.
This entry was inspired by a story that my mom told me. My mom came from a very poor family - they used to live in slums and could not afford new clothes. When she was about 6-7 years old, my grandma brought her to her aunt's place. Her aunt was well-off, back then in the 1950s.
When they were there, her aunt proudly showed my grandma & my mom the loads of new clothes that she had bought for her children - my mom had new clothes only on Hari Raya, the rest were hands down clothes.
And my mom told me, she felt a little hurt and I guess some other feelings that I, myself, could not figure out. Although she was young, she could still remember the incident vividly - it showed the kind of impact such incident had on a child. And she reminded herself and later us, her children that no matter how much we have or how much possessions we have, there's no need to broadcast to others.
i wholeheartedly agree with your mum (she's one wise lady!). and i still remember reading the incident whereby your late father took the sejadah and smack the bed instead of you (when you poked your bro with a pen).
to tell you honestly, THAT really came as a lighting bolt of reality to me. such a patient man. masyaa allaah ... what cool parents you have and i suppose there's where you get your traits from. ;)
my dad taught me - no matter what, we can never be a people pleaser. niat and actions go hand in hand but after weighing the pros and cons tapi masih was-was jugak what reaction it's gonna cost, then just abandon the idea lagi bagus. it is better to err on caution than otherwise. does that makes sense?
material wise, it's temporary. besar ke, kecik ke ... banyak ke, sedikit ke - semua yang kita ada datang dari allaah dan allaah bila-bila masa boleh menarik semua nya kembali. wallaahu`alam.
all in all, the most important thing that we have to take note is - yang berhak dipuji hanya allaah semata-mata. yang lain hanya perantaraan. allaahu akhbar. =)
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