We are from Allah and unto Him will we return

I called her this morning. I didn’t know what to say. Just early last week, we were just sharing good news with each other. I was excited for her and I could sense that she was just as excited for his arrival. We just had happy thoughts – only happy thoughts.

Only a few days ago, I was thinking of her and him. How blessed she must feel – to be given something that she had yearned for quite some time. I was waiting for the good news to come but it never came.

Yesterday morning, I was shocked and deeply saddened. I had checked her website to see whether there are pictures of happiness, welcoming the new man in her life. But happiness was not what I found. I found grief. She lost him. Allah took the child back – the child that I knew she had yearned for.

Initially, I couldn’t find the courage to call her because I knew no words of comfort could take away the pain and sadness that she may feel. When I eventually called, there was more silence than words said. It is so much easier to have a conversation on things like going shopping or meeting friends but when it comes to sadness and loss, it is so difficult to talk about.

I was holding back my tears as I heard her talk – slowly, not her normal way of talking. She had always been the cheery and happy one. Even her emails are filled with laughter and smileys. But this morning, she talked in a deliberate manner, punctuated with pauses filled with sadness. We said our goodbyes and you-take-cares.

And I cried after putting down the phone.

But I know no amount of my tears could replace her sadness, her sense of loneliness for the loss of her child. I wish I could do more. I would like to meet her – just to give a touch, a hug, a listening ear, a kind smile – I’ve learnt that these are the better things that we can help someone in grief.

Since yesterday morning, I have been thinking of life, death and what happened to my dear friend. Life and death is in the hands of Allah. What we have are not really ours – our body, our soul, our children, our spouse and many other things that we take for granted as ours to keep. We are just the caretaker – the one who makes sure that what have been loaned to us are properly taken care of according to the ways that Allah pleases.

Even sadness and happiness are in the hands of Allah. We can strive to achieve happiness by doing whatever that man has written in books and yet, those actions may not guarantee our happiness.

But Allah is Most Just - Allah is Most Merciful and Most Compassionate. Whatever hardships that befall us, there will always be more good to what we, humans, could see. Allah always has better things in store for us – things that we could never foresee. So I pray that Allah would give my friend the strength and patience that is needed to go through this because Allah has taken her son to a better place called Jannah. innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rojiun. Verily, we are from Allah and unto Him will we return.