Trusting Your Instinct

During my lunch hour, I had a conversation with one of my closest friend who currently needs to make a major decision – affecting not just her but people closest to her. Her instinct is telling her to go in the direction that others may see as silly or stupid. Carpe Diem or seize the opportunity are what others have been telling her. Don’t think too much – but when your heart says no; how can you seize that opportunity fully. Everything comes with a risk.

She said that she was trying to reason with herself, trying to convince herself to go against her inner most feeling and presumed that she would make the right decision. I know the feeling. Many times, I have reasoned with myself – going very much against my instinct. And in most of those times, maybe even all, I regretted making those decisions.

Even as recent as this year, I have made a decision that I now regret. I know there is no point in regretting. The decision has been made and there’s no turning back. I know that I have to live with it and for the umpteenth time, I hope I really learn from this mistake.

It won’t hurt so much if the mistake did not cost a cent. Because in this case, I may stand to lose lots of money - if the worst case scenario were to happen, that is. Ever since I got wind of the upsetting news during the last week of Ramadan, I have been praying that Allah swt show us the best way out of it. I pray that Allah make it easy for us and allow me to correct the mistake that I have made. I hope and pray that the worst case scenario would never happen. I hope that Allah swt will bring it back to me.

I kept on reminding myself that I should be grateful, at least I still have my health, my family and all those who I love and care most. The thing that I lost is only material stuff but still, when something rather valuable goes missing – we just hope to get it back. At the moment, it is a waiting game. I can’t do much but pray that it get found.

When things like this happen, we tend to blame ourselves. I blame myself for it. I know I cannot foresee the future but at the point when the decision was made – I had not trusted my instinct fully. I did not feel good but I reasoned with myself, gave myself a pap talk, convinced myself that there was nothing to be afraid of and that it would be a good decision.

I hope my friend got my point during our conversation. I know to some people it may sound silly. But I learnt that our instinct, our inner most feeling is our best defence. I should have trusted my instinct - if it did not feel good then just don’t do it. I know this could be Allah’s test for us and I hope that something good comes out of it. Insya’allah.

In the meantime, I seek solace from the verses in Surah 94 : Al-Inshirah.

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
1. Have We not expanded thee thy breast?-
2. And removed from thee thy burden
3. The which did gall thy back?-
4. And raised high the esteem (in which) thou (art held)?
5. So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief:
6. Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.
7. Therefore, when thou art free (from thine immediate task), still labour hard,
8. And to thy Lord turn (all) thy attention.


I know Allah has something good in store for me. Insya’allah