What We Do Not Know Won’t Hurt Us

I’m sure many of us have heard of this saying – what we don’t know, won’t hurt us. But there may be many times when we actually don’t know but we assume that we know and what we think we know hurt us a lot. Sounds complicating, right?

But I believe that is how our mind sometimes works. We assume, presume, guess and imagine something that may not even be true as the gospel truth because of how our mind connect the series of events that had happened – even though in actual reality they may not even be connected - and in the end, we hurt ourselves.

Confused? Let me give an example.

A few days ago, I received a call from someone, A, who was upset with a close relative of hers – who I shall call B. The reason for A being upset was that B had put on a long face when they met recently in a family gathering. Previously, they had some sort of misunderstanding but had cleared the air and even sought each other’s forgiveness. I, unfortunately or fortunately (depending on how you would like to view it), was present when the misunderstanding was cleared.

So A called me, pouring all her grievances and unhappiness about B’s reaction towards her even after the apologizing episode. She felt that B was being immature and not being able to put the whole episode behind her.

So I asked how did she know that B was still upset with her. She said that it was just logical to assume that. Bingo! That is the dirty word again – ASSUME.

So being the normal me – the person who can solve other people’s problem more easily than my own – asked her why was she hurting herself this way by assuming that others are unhappy with her by just looking at their faces. The way B looked on that day may have nothing to do with her previous misunderstanding with A. She may be just plain tired. That’s all – nothing to it. So I told A to forget about it – why think so much into something that we are not certain?Why make ourselves miserable just because of our assumptions – which could be wrong in the first place? Isn’t it a waste of energy?

We all know that sometimes, when we are sick or hounded by our personal problems, we don’t give much thought about how we look to others. We may put on a long face or “black face” as some people may call it because we had a bad day, because we just quarrelled with our spouse, because we are not well, because we have so many other things to think of. And it is not related to any single person.

And we know that there are people out there who are very sensitive to the way we look, even though it has nothing to do with them. Strange? But that’s humans – otherwise, the world will be a dull place to live in.

I think this could be one of the reasons why we Muslims are encouraged to smile as a form of sedekah. Of course, there are many other benefits of smiling – we make others trust us more, there will be less suspicion and we make others happy. However, I also know that sometimes with all the worldly troubles, it is difficult for us to maintain a smile 24/7.

But whatever it is, in case, someone don’t give you a smile or put on a long or black face when he or she sees you, please don’t assume, presume or imagine that the person has something against you. It will definitely make your life happier and less stressful – believe me. 8)